Broken Hill
Why don’t I trust that
bloody camper van – we arise to prepare for our solo excursion to Broken Hill
and places north – she stands there like a broken and relaxed pony – I should
be relaxed but I am not – I have an inherent mistrust of her – is she just
trying to lull me into a false sense of security – “no – no” – I tell myself –
“she is entirely broken and happy to play the role of faithful servant” –
“don’t trust her” comes a voice from deep within – “time will tell” says I.
Off towards Wentworth and
onwards towards Broken Hill - Trees retired form their production responsibilities
slowly wither away – Into Wentworth – she looks old and tired – she has seen
better days
Out of irrigation
district into the rangeland – scrubby trees and salt bush predominate - past
Pomona the environment is more and more dominated by salt bush – the roadsides
are green but the vibrant greens of the lands to the south have gone – the few
crops have already been stripped – while the country looks sad and ragged in
this good season, we wonder what it might look like in a bad year – the road
verges are still green with yellow daisies and Paterson’s curse providing
ribbons of colour – further on the daisies and curse are join by blue stattice
– a narrow finger of irrigated land with its green grasses and trees contrast
against the yellow of the stripped crops and dowdy greens and gays of the
rangeland.
Swerve to avoid a stumpy
tailed lizard making it way across the road – as we proceed signs of human
occupation reduce and the rangeland fauna show signs of their life and death
battle for survival. It seems like even the eagles and kites have forsaken the
land only to return when we pass through occasional cropping areas.
We arrive at the
roadhouse at Columba – 120k to Broken Hill – an uninspiring establishment – we
decide to have lunch – place an order - nice enough lady – where are the
toilets? – she produces a key – “it is the staff toilet” she says – clearly the
key only appears when the keys of the cash register are pressed – if these are
staff toilets then this tiny roadhouse must have an enormous staff – we sit and
await the arrival of our order – a four wheel drive pulls up – two 14 or 15
tear old girls pile out – clearly they are intent on the reaching the nearest
public convenience in the shortest possible time – “where are the toilets” they
say – “there are no public toilets here!” – Says the lady – the girls seem to
cross the legs tightly and rush back to their vehicle! – There must be a better
way of handling this!
The lady turns her
attention back to us – we have handed over cash and are therefore welcome – “see
that out there” she says – “that is normally just red sand!” – We have not had
this much rain for 49 years she says – I think to myself – “change your mind
about what you are seeing son! – this is as good as it gets!”
The recently broken and
now apparently friendly filly that is our campervan seems to sit patiently
outside tethered securely to the tow vehicle – “if you are really to emulate
your experienced caravanning friends Mike, you should do a check of your
equipment” says I – I check the linkage – fine! – Check the camper van
electrics – fine! – Check the campervan wheels - oh hell! – Hot – not
impossibly hot but hot nevertheless! – “what was that?” – I thought I heard
someone let out a little giggle but none one is around save me, the van and tow
vehicle – think – decide to drive at the moderate speed and check the wheel
temperature every 10k’s or so – drive 10 – check – still hot but no hotter –
another 10 k’s still hot but no hotter – battle on to Broken Hill – search out
a caravan repairer – they check the wheel bearings – look fine! – remove the
brake drum – out drops two unattached brake shoes – put the brake drum back on
– on our way without brakes – light little camper van – not a real problem – I
suspect I know who it was that was having the little giggle back at Columba –
that bloody van is not yet broken in!
Settle into the caravan
park – a grassed camping area Broken Hill style! - no grass just bark chips –
set up the van – she is back to her placid self – Bernie reflects on the tree
that caught her interest at a parking bay on the Silver City Highway about 50ks
from Broken Hill – a significant tree adorned with bras of all shapes, sizes,
colours and manufacturers all of which have been donated to this gorilla
decoration project by passing tourists – were they donated from suitcase or
were wayward breasts left unsupported for the remainder of the tourist’s
travels to Broken Hill? – in any event Bernie declined to participate in the
activity but did see the display as an indication that her visit to Broken Hill
may not be as uplifting and she hoped!
We skip out to Silverton
and onto the Murri Murri lookout – decide that in fact we could see the
curvature of the earth on the horizon – back into Silverton – precisely what it
has been reported to be and what I suspect it wants you to believe about
itself! - back into Broken Hill – it has
been a big day – resolve to leave the real sightseeing until tomorrow – eat at
the Musician’s Club – what? – no music! – music only on Friday and Saturday
nights – in fact just a pokies based club like hundreds of its counterparts
throughout rural NSW.
The night in the van
passes without incident – we plan the day – galleries in the morning – Bell’s
café for lunch – drive the heritage trail and visit the Palace Hotel in the
afternoon! –
The Living Desert Sculpture Park - enjoy very much - take care on the road in to avoid subjecting bearded dragons to an untimely demise.
Pro Hart – impressive but
different now that Pro has passed – Jack Absalom’s – ring the bell – Jack
himself answers the door – you are my guests says he – he leaves us to look at
his paintings and his opal collection – the Broken Hill Regional Gallery – impressive
– surprising quality – The Phantom – a travelling exhibition including a
contribution by Charles Blackman.
Bell’s Café – retro café
in the manner of the Niagara Café at Gundagai – a really, really good
milkshake.
Drive the Heritage Trail - Bernie loves the style of the old cottages -
Get about half way through thee Heritage Drive before a combination of sweltering temperatures
and lack of interest get the better of us – to the Silverton Pub – it will
probably have air-conditioning – it does – a dive that is still living off Mad
Max and a Town Called Alice – photos cover the wall! –
We order our beers – the
barmaid seems nervous – there is a bang on the floor behind the bar – it is the
snake catcher says the barmaid – a western brown snake had come in for a drink
– being refused entry at the main door he decided to make his way in through a
hole in the barrel chute – he cannot be found – the barmaid presses tissues
into any crack in the floor she can see.
The snake catcher
continues his work, the barmaid gets on about her work and the drinkers
continue to drink.
The publican holds court
in the bar – he talks about snakes – cannot miss the opportunity to impress the
tourists – the Tourists actively compete to converse with the publican – in
listening to these conversations it occurs to me that some tourists may see the
contents of such a conversation as having the potential to give them the upper
hand when they discuss with their friends their mutual recollections of when
they all “DID” Broken Hill and Silverton.
Back into Broken Hill –
surely the Palace Hotel will have air conditioning too! – It doesn’t – still we
are tourists and tourists all have to have a drink with Priscilla.
Dine in the Silver City
Chinese Restaurant – not too bad – very few in-house diners but huge takeaway
and delivery business – the phone never stopped ringing and the door never
stopped opening and closing.
It has been a hot and
humid day – it is still early – just 6:15pm – retire to the van – notice the
wind starting to pick up and sky start to darken – think nothing of it – reach
the safety of the van.
A few spots of rain
appears – the wind rises – a little more rain – a little more wind – a lot more
wind – more rain – even more wind – the van threatens to tip over – the awnings
ropes lets go - the awning swings in the breeze threatening to crash into the
van next door – I rush to the door in an attempt to contain the wayward awning
– a manage to restrain it – I look across at other vans – their awnings are
successively being ripped from their vans – I hold on to my awning for dear
life – wack – wack – what in the hell was that? – The hail has arrived – the
size of maltesers – more hail – more hail – more hail – smash! – the car window
behind shatters – more hail – more wind – the van shakes – finally the bed
cover stay lets go – wet, wet canvas comes to rest on the bed – oh hell – oh
hell!
After a seeming eternity
the hail stops, the rain stops, the wind stops – the storm has passed – we all
emerged from our vans – awnings, awnings everywhere, tree branches everywhere
including on a brand new van – power is out – lines are down – the whole of
Broken Hill is powerless! – “it never hails in Broken Hill” says one of the
locals – “yes I said but then again this is the first time my miscreant little
camper van has been here!”
We struggle around the van attempting to secure the villain before the next burst of environmental mis-content. A voice emerges from the only van in the park that does not experience any obvious damage - the women says to Bernie - "just pick up that hail stone for me dearie - I want to show my daughter on face-time" - with a stare that is normally reserved exclusively for a husband who has incurred her wrath Bernie responds with a firm "NO" - Bernie goes about her repairs frequently uttering "I cannot believe that women!"
How is the car? – hail damage
not as obvious as I would have expected! – unfortunately that was only because
of the fading light – a morning inspection would reveal that the car would be
much faster and more efficient on the highway courtesy of the golf ball like
indentations on the bonnet surface.
People wander the caravan
park – stunned – shocked – a representative of the caravan
park arrives – I am the Operations Manager he says - everything will be ok – we
are insured he says – we will have a 500KVA generator here in no time – I know
what I am doing – I was a Deputy Chief Inspector in the New Zealand Police – I report
to Bernie that all will be well – the Operations Manager had told me he would
have power on in no-time – Operations Manager, my hat! Says Bernie – “he is the
tour bus driver!” – “in any event” she says – “what is Deputy Chief Inspector
from New Zealand doing running a caravan park in Broken Hill!”.
We retrieve our soaked
bedding – at least it is only one bed – we will enjoy a cuddle tonight! – hang the
bedding on the park’s clothes line to dry and retire to bed hoping for the
power to return to activate my sleep apnoea machine – it never happens!
We talk about caravanning
– we agree – this is the last straw – the wilful, scheming, mischievous camper
van is entirely responsible for our malaise and for the malaise of those
wanderers who by some cruel quirk of fate happen to share our camp grounds at
Cessnock, Port Macquarie, Brooms Head and Broken Hill – she is clearly a nasty,
nasty piece of work!
A restless night ends in
the dawning of a fine day – we head for the showers – they will be gas so a hot
shower is a certainty – wrong! - instant gas hot water requires electrical
ignition – cold – cold – cold – mood not improved but we both resolve to make
the best of the day – the power will be back on sometime today so let’s head
off to Menindee and leave the van to dry out in the warm sun.